How I love God Pt 25: Put a guard over my mouth

Psalm 141:1-5, 8-10   1I call to you, LORD, come quickly to me; hear me when I call to you.  2May my prayer be set before you like incense; may the lifting up of my hands be like the evening sacrifice.  3Set a guard over my mouth, LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips.  4Do not let my heart be drawn to what is evil so that I take part in wicked deeds along with those who are evildoers; do not let me eat their delicacies.  5Let a righteous man strike me—that is a kindness; let him rebuke me—that is oil on my head.  My head will not refuse it, for my prayer will still be against the deeds of evildoers.  8But my eyes are fixed on you, Sovereign LORD; in you I take refuge—do not give me over to death.  9Keep me safe from the traps set by evildoers, from the snares they have laid for me.  10Let the wicked fall into their own nets, while I pass by in safety.

Proverbs 4:23-27 23Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.  24Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips.  25Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you.  26Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways.  27Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.

Matthew 15:18-19                 18But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them.  19For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.

There are many things in life that are easier to control than our mouths.  We can close a door, turn off a television, put down a phone, or walk away from an argument.  But once words leave our mouths, we cannot call them back.  We can apologize for them, explain them, or try to repair the damage they caused, but the words themselves are already out there.  That is why the simple prayer, “Put a guard over my mouth”, is more important than it may first appear.

Psalm 41 gives us a picture of a person who is hurting.  David speaks about enemies, betrayal, sickness, and people who are saying things about him.  He is not writing from a comfortable chair removed from life's problems.  He is dealing with people who have turned against him.  Yet even in that situation, David continues to turn toward God.

Proverbs 4:23–27 takes the matter deeper.  We are told to guard our hearts because what is inside eventually affects everything we do.  Matthew 15:18–19 reminds us that our words are not simply accidental sounds. They reveal what is taking place inside us.  Put these passages together and they teach an important lesson: our mouths need guarding because our hearts need guarding.  This is not merely about learning to speak politely.  It is about learning to live under God's direction when we are angry, disappointed, wounded, tempted, or afraid.

I call to you, LORD

There is something important about the way David responds when life becomes hard.  He does not pretend that everything is fine.  He does not deny that he has been hurt.  He brings the situation to God.  When someone says something hurtful about us, often our first instinct is to snap back. Someone sends an angry text, and we immediately begin typing.  Someone criticizes us, and we start building our defense.  Someone insults us, and we think of something even sharper to say.

Usually, our first response to a problem is not the correct one.  A person might receive an upsetting email at work and immediately write a response that says everything he is thinking.  He presses “send” and feels better for about five minutes.  Then he reads the email again and realizes he said far more than necessary.  But the words cannot be retrieved.  A better response might have been to close the computer, take a walk, pray, and come back to the situation later.  That is one practical way of calling upon the Lord.

Calling upon God does not always mean kneeling down for a long prayer.  Sometimes it is as simple as saying, “Lord, help me not to make this worse.”

Psalm 141 shows us that David is surrounded by difficult circumstances, but he still knows where his help comes from.  He brings his pain to God rather than allowing his pain to control his speech.  But calling on God before we act is not normal behavior; we tend to act out of emotion.  When we are tempted to tell somebody what we really think, we should call on the Lord first.  There is nothing wrong with telling the truth.  There is nothing wrong with confronting wrongdoing.  There are times when difficult things need to be said.  But there is a difference between speaking the truth and speaking out of anger.  God can help us know the difference.

Put a guard over my mouth

Set a guard over my mouth, LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips.  

What would happen if we actually prayed every morning, “Lord, put a guard over my mouth today”?  A guard stands at an entrance.  A guard watches what comes in and what goes out.  The idea is not that we should never speak.  The idea is that everything does not deserve to come out.  But we live in a world where people are encouraged to say whatever they think.  Social media has made this even easier.  A person can be sitting alone in a room and suddenly be arguing with someone thousands of miles away.  There is no face-to-face conversation, no opportunity to see the other person's expression, and often very little thought about the consequences.  We can type something in ten seconds that might hurt somebody for years.

But the problem is not really the keyboard; the problem is the heart.  Jesus said in Matthew 15:18–19, “But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart.”  He then lists things such as evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, and slander.  Jesus is telling us that our speech is connected to what is happening inside us, so if bitterness, resentment, or pride, or anger are in there, they will eventually come out; usually in hurtful ways.  If someone bumps into us emotionally, or disappoints us, or ignores us, or criticizes us, or says something unfair, suddenly something comes out of our mouth.

That situation did not necessarily create the anger.  It revealed what was already inside.  That can be uncomfortable to admit, but it is also helpful.  If our words reveal something in our hearts that needs attention, then we have an opportunity to bring it to God.  I have a pastor friend who likes to say, “Shock me now, rather than then.”  What he means is that it is better to be embarrassed about our flaws now, while we have time to do something about them, than when we stand before Jesus when there is no more time left.

We need to be careful about what we allow to build up inside us.  We cannot spend hours feeding resentment and then expect patience to come naturally when someone pushes the wrong button.  What we continually think about matters.  And it matters what we watch, listen too, and talk about.  Whatever those things are, they eventually become part of us.

May a righteous man strike me

, “Let a righteous man strike me—that is a kindness; let him rebuke me—that is oil on my head.”

But God does not want those poisonous things residing in our hearts; nothing matters more to God than that His children develop close personal relationship with Him through His Son.  Most of us can handle criticism from a stranger more easily than criticism from a friend.  When someone we love tells us something we do not want to hear, it can hurt deeply.  But sometimes the people who love us are the very people God uses to correct us.  A mature Christian needs people who can speak honestly into his or her life, and a righteous person who loves us enough to correct us can be a gift from God.  That does not mean we should accept every criticism.  Some criticism is unfair.  Some people speak from jealousy, anger, or their own wounds, and sometimes people can say terrible things about us.

We need discernment.  But we should never become so defensive that nobody can tell us the truth.

26Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways.  

27Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.

Those words from Proverbs 4 apply to our mouths too.

What about me?

We cannot control everything other people say about us, but we can ask God to control what comes out of us.  That is an important distinction.  We may not be able to stop somebody from lying about us.  We may not be able to prevent betrayal.  We may not be able to make everyone like us or understand us.  But we can decide how we respond, and we can pray before answering.

The thing is, controlling our mouth takes effort; we must be deliberate about it.  And when we fail—and we will—we can admit it.  “I'm sorry.  I shouldn't have said that.”  Ultimately, the prayer “Put a guard over my mouth” is really a prayer for a changed heart.  Jesus reminds us that what comes out of the mouth comes from within.  Proverbs tells us to guard the heart because everything we do flows from it.  Psalm 141 shows us what it looks like to turn toward God when people hurt, betray, criticize, or speak against us.

Ultimately the guard we seek is attitude; that we humbly turn to God and away from our prideful self.  “Lord, change what is inside me so that what comes out of me reflects You.”  That is the guard we really need.